Now that I’m the mother of two boys, I’m taking the time t re-read Raising Boys, by Steve Biddulph. I remember reading it after the birth of my first son and feeling better equipped at raising a boy, and while I am more experienced this time around a refresher course never hurt. Not only will it remind me what to do with my baby, but I will better understand what to expect of my four year old. While leafing through the pages this morning, I came across a wonderful passage that I firmly believe in:
TENDERNESS IS TAUGHT
In the 1960s, anthropologist James Prescott carried out a very large scale study of child rearing and violence across different societies. He found that those societies which gave less touching and affection to young children had by far the most violence amongst adults. It’s clear that the more tender and warm are the lives of children, the safer and more loving they will be as adults. (Sex offenders and other sexual predators almost always have a history of rejection, institutionalization and disrupted childhoods.) Treating children with warmth and affection immunises them against the wish or need to harm others.
All my clients will attest that I’m a firm believer in hugs and kisses.
I’ve also got The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids, by Madeline Levine, Ph.D. The title is intriguing and I certainly don’t want to raise disconnected, unhappy children. So I picked up a copy in the hopes that I will be confirming that I’m on the right track, or worst case scenario, learning where to make corrections.
Sure, there’s nothing like real experience, but when it comes to something like parenting, I firmly believe you can learn from other people’s successes and failures and books are a wonderful source of invaluable information. Looking at my bookshelf, I think going all-kindle might be the way forward for me.
What great parenting books do you recommend? I’m always interested in learning.
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